1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize