So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
