so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
