i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
