would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize