I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
