she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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