Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
