dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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