So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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