So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
