oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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