Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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