i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize