I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
is it fun? or sober?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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