Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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