"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
