I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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