Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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