it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
