I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Let's get the cat blown out
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
