The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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