yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
