please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
