I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
