$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
