i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize