My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
