you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
