Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize