you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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