Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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