you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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