That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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