Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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