you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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