You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
