my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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