Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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