If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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