I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
