ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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