Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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