All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
