I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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