so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
