another moral hangover. fuck.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
