My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
