If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
