He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
