yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
