As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
