areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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