Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
