You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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