Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
