So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
