ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
