Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
