Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
