i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize