yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
