I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
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