Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
