you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
this will be a night to untag.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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