I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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