they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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