I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
