you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
