so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
