I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
