and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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