why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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