I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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