I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize