is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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