My balls are so social today.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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