too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
