There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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