after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
